Ricky said it best

"Christmas isn't about shopping, crap, and all that stress - it's about getting drunk and stoned with your family and friends. So fuck it, I'm gonna go get drunk and stoned with my buddy Bubbles. I fuckin' love you, dad." - Ricky

So every Christmas Eve, I have some fine scotch with my dad. On Christmas Day, I have a few more drinkypoos with family. But you stay sober because of all that food.

On New Year's Eve, I have a plethora with my friends. The best part is you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. I have the best friends in the world. I love New Year's Eve. I loath the next day.

That's what it's all about.

Helps you sing too! Cheers.

Snak's 2004 Music Review

Remember about, oh, 8 years ago when disco made a comeback? There were disco parties everywhere. People raided Value Village just to fit in again. The scary part was that disco style stuck and strong elements are in the latest homme fashion designs. I say, cool, ya dig?

But this is a review of 2004. You know, 2004 was the year of crapolla fuck-all for new original music. That extra day in Feb didn't help one iota either. I spent the year relistening to the 2 year old albums from Matchbox, Sheryl, Blue Rodeo, and Tonic hoping they would have released new material. So I lament.

2004 was the year that didn't know what year it was. It felt like a mass battle of the 80's music styles. On one side we had all those unoriginal punkish new wave bands all called "The Blanks" that merely copied that trend of band names back in the rollerskating days. Plus it reminded us true music veterans of what really made the late 70's and early 80's so unique, so pure, so pre-MTV. In Canada, The Trews came out well last year, and the first time I heard them they were playing live in front of HMV at WEM. I thought I erely heard Michael Hutchence again. I guess I was "stuck in a moment" and I couldn't get out of it.

Then on the other end we have a strong hair metal rock comeback. Old bands from the 80's are cool again, they're touring and the cougars are buying tickets. And because of this, thankfully the classic and memorable single note power guitar riff hooks have returned, swiftly killing all the 4 chord drop-d unimaginative Theory of a Nickelfaults. And to me, the band that did it, ironically, is Velvet Revolver. For its lieutentants in Canada, we can thank The Tea Party for pumping out one of the best power albums in recent memory, "Seven Circles", making Chad Kroeger think about putting more into his RSP, or is that R.I.P.?

Jet is a band that smartly rode the fence like Paul Martin in drag at a business luncheon. A little Iggy Pop here, a bunch of AC/DC there. But how long can they keep regurgitating blended old stuff in a neat little teenage package, only time will tell. I'll give it one more album, then that's it.

I'm not even gonna talk about rap and hip hop - that's not even music to start with. The pop dance music of today lacks ... well it lacks everything. These songs don't last a week. It's a candy sugar high and not worth anyone's time in the long run. More people are worried how Britney's bellybutton looks than her, um, er ... lips, sing(c)ing. Whatever happened to Cathy Dennis anyway? But seriously, I'll put any Nelly Furtado song against all that pop crap out there and quash it, a la Forca!

If "video killed the radio star" well over 20 years ago (side note: aptly written by Geoff Downes, formerly of Yes and Asia), things have come full circle again and will likely loop many times through the generations. Value Village and keyboard synthesizers will have blips of record profits every 20 years or so.

The sad thing is, I just don't see us climbing back up the stairway of heaven, the mega hey day of music - that's right, the 70's (including 69, 80-81). The post-Woodstock pre-MTV zone that people forget. Homer Simpson even agrees: "1974 was the greatest year of rock n roll. It's a scientific fact." Of course, that's the year Rush debuted and Led Zep had already released five lasting albums. Rolling Stone mag, when ranking the top 500 albums of all time, the majority, I repeat, the majority were from the 70's. There was nothing to do but make music then. I was there! I saw my babysitters light up the stove burner and pull out my parent's LP collection. Thankfully, with Internet radio, I can listen to all that amazing psychadelic progressive music again and rediscover that place in the heavens when songs were true works of art. So check out www.radioio.com and go to 70's classic rock.

So there ya go. Call me a purist. But credit should be given where credit is due. The icing on the cake, and proof positive of my diatribe today was recently hearing that Sports World Rollerrink opened up again!!! Now where did I put my Jordache Jeans and Precision Dominions?

The winner in the end? Well, the end of the loop is the beginning of the next generation (what letter are we on anyway?) -- a generation that forgets, that needs the quick fix fed to them by the record companies like a dog on coke. True music lovers will see the whole "moving picture" and appreciate originality, creativity, imagination, and the true artists who take us to the next level, the next rung on the ladder if you will. They are the winners, the explorers, who leave the tireless loop and forge forward to new frontiers, because then, and only then, can we evolve.

Snak's Man of the Year

While I may be bias toward Canadian Conservative Leader Stephen Harper and his ability to unite two federal parties, run for the leadership and easily win, and come just over 30 seats from becoming Prime Minister, all within 6 months, his obstacles weren't nearly as great as one man whom I admire greatly.

Hands down: Ukrainian opposition leader and presidential candidate, Viktor Yushchenko is Snak's Man of the Year for 2004.

In the past several weeks, the world's attention has focused on the presidential elections in Ukraine. This country, with a rich culture of tradition, compassion, industry and work ethic, has been supressed by Russian Soviet influence, starved to death by Stalin, taken over by Nazi's, and since its Independence from the Iron Curtain in 1991, has been ruled by an autocracy of thugs under the umbrella of quasi dictator of Russia, Darth Vladimir Rasputin.

This event has been earmarked as a defining time of the post Cold War era. It's East vs. West again. The U.S. and Canada declared the election bunk while Putin congratulated fraudulant winner Yanukovych. Putin played his cards badly and now has yiachi juice on his face.

Viktor Yushchenko not only has proven that he has the majority of support of Ukrainians in that country, but all around the world. Orange-clad Yushchenkomania has swept the hearts of all freedom loving peoples, Ukrainian or not. His calls for closer relations with the west, NATO, and the European Union, while continuing strong trade with Russia, make sense for this breadbasket of a country.

He has rallied hundreds of thousands of supports to camp out in the bitter cold to protest in Kyiv for weeks on end. He has gracefully subvered the ruthless propoganda campaign from eastern Ukraine and civil war threats from the Russian northern border. Yushchenko has the entire democratic world rooting for him. Thousands of people from around the world are coming to observe the election, ensuring a fair vote ensues.

The east-west divide you see in Ukraine just simply isn't true - it's propoganda that has become a false reality. Yushchenko supports are now getting in their cars and travelling to eastern Ukraine to connect with those same supporters who have been threatened and beaten for not supporting the other candidate and current Prime Minister Yanukovych, who was appointed by Leonid Kuchma, outgoing president and Putin lacky.

Yushchenko knows how to play the art of politics to the extreme to achieve the result you really desire. His masterful decisions have stymied a propoganda machine propped by Russian dollars.

And to top that off, he has been poisoned by dioxin. The Yanukovych campaign recently said it was a campaign ploy. What crap. Mr. Yushchenko's once movie star face has been badly potmarked and disfigured. He has now proven that good looks aren't what Ukrainians are looking for - they're looking for freedom, democracy, human rights, not continued bullying, and Viktor Yushchenko is the man that's taking them there. He will win this mini cold war on December 26, the date marked for the repeat vote of the presidential election run-off, on behalf of true Ukrainians, and for all freedom loving peoples of the world.

And his charisma reminds me of another man who won the Cold War for all - former U.S. President, Ronald Reagan.

Snak's Intermittent Movie Review No. 3

"The United States of Leland" (2003)

Directed and Written by: Matthew Ryan Hoge

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Don Cheadle, Chris Klein, Jena Malone, Lena Olin, Kevin Spacey

Plot Outline: "The United States of Leland" tells the story of a young man's experience in an American juvenile detention centre that touches on the tumultuous changes that befall his family and the community in which he lives.

Snak's take: Well, there were parts when I fell asleep. The very few parts where Kevin Spacey, who plays a famous writer and Leland's estranged father, was of course perfect. The main character, Leland, is a pathetic self-righteous stupid kid. If that's the part he was supposed to play, then Ryan Gosling nailed it. Chris Klein's character, Allen, as an unpredictable seemingly outsider, which, for me put the movie over a 50% grade because I couldn't figure him out. Don Cheadle who plays Leland's teacher in the detention centre, is still an underrated actor, and the only real and believable character in the entire movie. It's a boring movie overall and listening to Leland speak about his thoughts about God and the devil, good vs. evil, is just absolute drivelling nonsense. This character killed someone in cold blood and we're supposed to feel real sorry for him. Just pathetic liberal trash. eg. "Maybe bad things exist so we know what good is." No wonder See Magazine gave it 4 stars. What crap. The only people who can identify with this movie are kids like "Jeremy ... spoke in class today" and Scott "Heroin" Weland. How in the hell the writer got Kevin Spacey dragged (drugged?) into this one is beyond me. (But it was nice to see Sherilyn Fenn though - Leland's description of her was bang on - "electricity in her eyes".) But whatever - a blah movie.

Should be titled: "The United States of Pathetic"

Rating: Yesterday I gave it 2.63 fists out of 5, but now that I think about it, it's not even a 2. So Snak gives this movie 1.91 fists out of 5. Don't waste your time. Watch "Shawshank Redemption" again for the 97th time - that'll make you feel better and pick out a plot point that you hadn't seen or considered before.

Darth Vladimir

Former head of the KGB in the USSR days, current president of Russia, Vladimir Putin reminds me of a certain character in the Star Wars series. No not Darth Vader. Definitely not Luke, Han, or Chewey.

The manner in which he has conducted himself politically for years has been one of caution, diplomacy, and prudence. He had quietly placed his puppet, Leonid Kuchma, to run Ukraine as president for the last 10 years.

Yet when the new Ukrainian presidential elections recently ended amidst massive ballot box fraud, particularly in Eastern, more Russian speaking Ukraine, (Ras)Putin had to have a premature congratulatory statement to the fraudulent winner, current Ukrainian Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych. Then as western countries like Canada, the U.S. and the European Union denounce the elections as fraudulent, Putin tells everyone to "leave Ukraine alone and let them handle their own affairs."

You see, with Putin, who can be considered a political genius (up to this point anyway), is brilliant at saying one thing and doing the complete opposite behind closed doors. So whenever you read or hear something Putin says, like "leave the Ukrainian people alone", he's got tanks on the northern border, he's getting lynchman to bully eastern workers into voting for his new puppet, Yanukovych, instead of pro western liberal Yushchenko, who has been slowly poisoned.

He knows controlling Ukraine again would benefit Russia for trade, labour, as Ukraine is the fastest growing economy in the European area. So Putin needs Ukraine like cars need oil and has done everything he knows to try and win it over. It's like Putin plays both sides for his own gain, but no one knows it. Putin may seem he's all pro western democracy kind of guy, but in reality he's given himself sweeping powers and has created a Stalin-like cult status for himself in Russia.

Again, reminds me of a certain character in Star Wars I and II. That character being Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious/The Emperor. But I'll call him Darth Vladimir.


The Dark Side may seem stronger, but it's always "the good in people" that win. Little did Darth Vladimir realize how the will of the people of Ukraine would remain in their protest camp supporting Yushchenko for days on end. And just 30 minutes ago, the Ukraine Supreme Court ruled the last vote invalid due to fraud and that the run-off vote be repeated before Dec. 26.

The gig is up Vlad, you've been exposed for who you really are. Your lightning bolt shocks on a country that is tired of being oppressed by Russians for centuries won't work anymore. Time to get thrown down the shaft.

The Frozen Clown

It's been a long time since I had been to The Rose and Crown Downtown. Last night I was there because my sister was in town on business and she invited me out for a 'few' cocktails. What makes the Rose and Crown special is the atmosphere, not so much created by the staff, but it's simply the music and one man who plays the boogie woogie on piano like no one else. He's engaging, he's entertaining, witty, and very talented.

His name is Don Johnson. No, not of Miami Vice fame, but someone with real talent. He's not "searching for a hearbeat", or anything like that. Don plays a variety of songs and styles and has an excellent tenor voice.

You see, the story is this ...

Back in "tha day" (circa 1990-1993), I used to frequent at the Rose with friends and being some of the younger crowd in a mature bar we thought we were kings. We'd sit at the piano bar and listen and sing along with Don, chat it up with any decent looking woman under 30, and have a great time. Yeah, we had successes and misses, but it was all in fun. Don had been playing there regularly from like 1984 to 1995, then he opened up his own bar called "Don Johnson's Piano Bar" on the Boardwalk, then took off to San Antonio for many years. Well, he's back home. And it was great to see him again. He remembered my name.

As many of you know, my half-sister found my mother and me in 1998. Mom gave her up for adoption at birth. All that time, I had no idea she existed. And now she's in my life with her two kids and husband. We've hit it off really well - I think she's amazing.

Okay, here we go ... you see, my sister used to also frequent at the R&C around the same time as me, back in "tha day". She also knows Don from being in the hospitality business with hotels and stuff. (I think you see where this is going.) That's right, ... this is crazy ... there's a pretty good chance that while sitting at the old piano bar crooning with Don, that at one point, I think, I'm pretty sure, that ... that, I hit on my own sister back in 1990! I know, it's crazy - you're crazy man, but I like you.

Well, thank God she turned me down.

So last night, my sister and I had a "reunion" at the R&C because we knew that Don had returned. Don had no idea my sister and I were such, and when we told him our story, he started playing "We Are Family". Then he played the old classics where he'd change the lyrics for more hilarity - "...and the microphone smells like a scotch...", etc.

So my critique today of the Rose n Crown (aka "Frozen Clown" after a few pints) is this: The bar prices are about $1 more than they need to be, but the food is good. They renovated it since last time I was there - now it's very open and a bit more modern. No dart boards anymore, but a neat private room with a pull down screen for presentations, etc. There are several snugs to give it that old English pub feel. The fireplace is still there and the bar is open rounded style - very chic.

But again, there were some old faces -- remants of the "All Virgin Choir" and good ol' Don tickling the ivories. Even the Edmonton Police Piper and Drum band were there. That was cool. Seeing Don play again and hearing the old songs is what makes the Clown that fun, entertaining place it is. Don said to me last night that he kept playing after payroll (without pay) because there were people still having a great time, dancing, and singing. He said especially with all these hospitality people, you want them to remember and return. He's a true ambassador for Edmonton.

So balancing all this out, Snak gives the Frozen Clown Downtown with Don, 4.37 fists out of 5. Without Don, it's like a 2.435.

Don Johnson plays at the Rose and Crown from Tuesday through Friday every week. He plays a mean harmonica as well.

Snak's Intermittent Movie Review - "Ray"

I totally forgot to review this. "Ray" starring Jamie Fox is an excellent movie. The acting, the passion, the story, and the music are top notch. While a bit long (2.5 hours) you do get the feel of his long life. There were no points in the movie that did not add to the plot - in fact, there were certain elements of his life that were missing - his teenage years, his mother's death, and his growth as an amazing piano player (which was likely while a teenager). They do show him learning piano when he was about 6 being taught by a local man at the drug store in his town. I loved that part - reminded me of me at that age.

Starting from his southern roots as a child who lived with his determined mother and younger brother, throughout the movie Ray often has inspirational flashbacks to his childhood -- the time he could see up until 7 years of age. These are the parts of the movie I really enjoyed; the child actors here are what cap the movie - they were adorably excellent and believable. He draws on his mother's advice and strong words of wisdom in these flashbacks - it's very touching.

Ray Charles Robinson lived the typical life of a talented musician constantly on the road - sex, drugs (lots), cheating, run ins with the law, but he gave the world a variety of music styles and combinations that are still admired but not perfectly imitated today. Early in his career, people used and abused his talents for their own gain, which he himself would repeat later in life against the people that helped him get to the top - typical Americanism.

Jamie Foxx is not only believable as Ray Charles, there are many moments when you truly feel Ray is alive again (he actually passed away just after the movie was completed and before it was released). Foxx's method acting, by literally having his eyes glued shut for months, worked. I hope he wins an award for it. The supporting cast is fantastic - lots of personal relationships.

This is one of the most inspirational movies I have ever seen and I highly recommend you see it soon.

Snak gives it 4.73 fists out of 5.