Snak's Intermittent Movie Review

"The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
Starring Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Tom Wilkinson, Froto ("Tofu") Baggins

Recently seen on DVD, this movie is not like other movies you may have seen, except perhaps "Momento" and "Being John Malkovich" because the main story thread is sometimes difficult, yet fun, to find since you really have to pay attention when watching it, and surprisingly, when you eventually understand what's going on inside Joel's (Carrey's) mind as it's being erased, you get caught up in it and get to really experience the deep feelings portrayed by an outstanding performance from both Carrey and Winslet who in the movie play a strange lonely couple.

If you thought that last sentence was a run-on one, then you'll get the idea of what to expect in this movie. It took me a while to figure out what was really going on, and I never felt my intelligence was insulted, which sadly happens in a lot of movies, so snaky gives it 4.4 fists out of 5. There were a few plot lines that didn't seem to go anywhere.

Oh, and watch out for Froto. He acts more like Gollum in this one though.

Ranking Blue Rodeo Albums

Okay Boobie, if you're gonna do Floyd (which you're fully qualified for), I must provide my take on another one of Canada's most underrated bands. As I told Jim Cuddy one night, "I think you and Greg are the greatest songwriters -- you're like the Lennon and McCartney of Canada." Jim said, "Oh, thank you very much." A nice guy all around. Here we go...

1. Five Days in July (1993) - I think everybody agrees with this one. This is my deserted island album and the one I MUST listen to whilst driving to Jasper. Why? Because there's a road sign on the way that says "<-- Cynthia 23km" and in Jasper you can visit "Pyramid Lake with you". The greatest song ever is on this album: "Hasn't Hit Me Yet" plus many more wonderfully written, simply produced, and beautifully sung songs like "Bad Timing". Cameos by Sarah Maclaughlin, especially the acapella with Greg on "Know Where You Go/Tell Me Your Dream" are the icing on the cake. Nice to hear some piano on its own in "Dark Angel". This is the kind of album you want to sit in a chair in the shallow water of a lake while watching the sun go down (kind of like the album cover). I can't say enough about this album. It is a must own for anyone. In case you didn't notice, but the drummer never uses drumsticks, just brushes adding to a softer feel. Lots of harmonica which gives it an earthy feel and Greg's softer singing makes the album border on country-celtic music without actually going there. That's exactly what Blue Rodeo is - their own category and this album defines them perfectly.

2. The Days in Between (2000) - Break out the telecaster and the drumsticks! I love the melodies and vocals on this album - "The Seeker", "Andrea", "Always Getting Better", and "Rage" are examples of this. Blue Rodeo are masters at providing a variety of styles of music and this album is no exception. Songs such as "This Road" and "Bitter Fruit" sung by Greg once again are awesome while driving.

3. Palace of Gold (2002) - Break out the horn section! Just an awesome album overall with all sorts of styles - "Cause for Sympathy" and "What A Surprise" are reminiscent of some good old early 1970's AM radio tunes that you'd listen to while driving through Roger's Pass - just some nice reverb hall sound coupled with a mini symphony and staccatto trumpets makes that all happen. "Bulletproof" is one of Cuddy and Keelor's best written songs with a nicely placed augmented seventh chord.

4. Tremolo (1997) - After a couple listens at work, I fell in love with this album. A really gentle album - I can put it on and just sit back, relax, and sing alone. These songs are great for driving to Wainwright - lots of cows and sheep along the way.

5. Casino (1991) - This album shows off Jim's singing really well - especially on "After The Rain". "Trust Yourself" is the best song and has one of the best intros of a song ever. Lots of fun harmonica on this album.

6. Nowhere To Here (1995) - The album starts of slowly with two dark and long Greg songs, but after travelling through this deep forest of lament, you reach a meadow of song reaping with humble regret, frustration, yet hope - "What You Want", "Better Off As We Are", "Blew it Again", and "Get Through To You" indicate deep feelings in Jim and Greg. A very passionate album.

7. Lost Together (1992) - Another fun album similar to Casino. Best listened to with good friends and many beers - "Already Gone", "Lost Together", "Rain Down On Me", "Restless", "Where Are You Now", "Willin' Fool" are excellent examples of this.

8. Outskirts (1986) - "Rose Coloured Glasses" and "Try" are still two excellent songs that will stand the test of time. Other songs hold up pretty well, but "Try" is what made Blue Rodeo in the first place.

9. Diamond Mine (1989) - The title track is actually one of my favourite Blue Rodeo songs, with a Doors-type feel it's got tonnes of passion. "You say that you don't love me ... you talk about the other boys and you laugh in my face." Ouch! The rest of the album isn't really Blue Rodeo to me - more like Malcolm Burn the producer, and seems to ride coat tales of the title track.

Ranking the Rush albums...

Rush is the most successful and talented Canadian rock band ever. They've been around so long and pumped out so many albums, I thought I'd rank and review them for you.

1. Moving Pictures (1981) - Even Neil Peart says this was the pinnacle album. “The Camera Eye” rules - even my dad liked it when he heard it. The album has everything you want - even a mob of drunken people chatting outside the studio in the cold (beginning of Witch Hunt). Crenching lyrics: "The night is black without a moon. The air is thick and still."

2. 2112 (1976) - This epic song, "2112", is divided into parts and tells the story of a man who rebels against an oppressive regime using music. A futuristic adventure plus many other great tunes from hard rock to subtle ballads. This album exploded Rush into the U.S. market.

3. Permanent Waves (1980) - Two tunes make the album awesome and truly Rush: "Jacob's Ladder" and "Natural Science". Of course, "Spirit of the Radio" and "Freewill" are the popular ones, but that's the beauty of Rush, usually their singles aren't the best songs on the album.

4. Hemispheres (1978) - Another album with an epic song of the album title. This continues the song of the story of blackhole of Cygnus X-1 - along with the telling of Greek gods. "La Villa Strangiatto" is the greatest rock instrumental of all time. And like Ricky says "I don't fucking understand Bubble's obsession with Rush. Fucking trees are talkin' to each other. Now Helix - 'Rock You' - that's something I can identify with."

5. Counterparts (1993) - Just a full prog rock album. The band returns to a harder edge and Neil is on fire.

6. Vapor Trails (2002) - Heaviest album. Neil is back after a 5 year hiatus riding his motorbike all over North America after his daughter and wife died. He gets fucking angry with his drumming and lyrics - especially in Ghost Rider - "Pack up all those phantoms..."

7. Presto (1989) - This is the album that got me hooked on Rush. Phonics too. A well produced album with a variety of songs. Many singles off this one.

8. Signals (1982) - Keyboard time - classic new wave '80s. I like the keyboards and can play every song on album.

9. Grace Under Pressure (1984) - Again, lots of keyboards combined with grooving bass lines. Neil goes nuts on electric drums -

10. Farewell To Kings (1977) - Any album that has a song about a black hole ("Cygnus X-1") has to be good. Bubbles' favourite song is on this one too ("Closer to the Heart"), but "Madrigal" has got to go.

11. Fly By Night (1975) - An unofficial Lord of the Rings soundtrack. "By-Tor and the Snow Dog" make the album good.

12. Power Windows - (1985) - It's sequencer time! Perhaps too much sequencer.

13. Roll the Bones (1991) - Rap shit sucks ass, but the rest is a pretty good listen.

14. Hold Your Fire (1987) - Still a lot of keyboards. "Mystic Rhythms" video shows Neil's 360 degree drum set from above. Cool.

15. Test for Echo (1996) - Some songs just don't do it for me. No passion on this album. Songs could be faster and have more groove.

16. Caress of Steel (1975) - With a song called "The Necromancer" you know it's gonna be neat. The band really experiments with epic style song structures and writing.

17. Rush (1974) - "Working Man" is the theme of all theme songs. Still heard on the radio, but I never listen to it at home. No Neil Peart, so it's at the bottom.

If you haven't seen the DVD "Rush in Rio" you must. All the fans in Brazil knew all the lyrics.

Ras(Putin)

I've been saying this for years. Putin may seem all friendly, but he's not. He's a dictator. He's slowly been retaking power in Russia and heavily influencing neighbouring countries - like Ukraine. He's already congratulated communist Yanukovych on his "convincing" win and even publically supported him during the election! Since the school bombing, he has literally taken over all aspects of power. He's created a cult-like propoganda machine, much like Stalin did.

And now, because of the unrest in the Ukrainian election, Ras(Putin) is moving troops to the northern border of Ukraine. Most of Yushchenko's support is in Western Ukraine, where a lot of my family is.

This could get really ugly very soon.

Who's the real victor: Viktor or Viktor?

What a mess for Ukrainians in the Motherland.. There's 100,000 supporters of pro-western opposition leader Victor Yushchenko gathered in Kyiv protesting the fraudulant presidential election results. The councils of the capital city, Kyiv, along with L'viv and many other western centres are recognizing Yushchenko as the president. Western run exit polls showed Yushchenko with an 11 point lead over Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych, a Putin puppet of the communist party.

Take a look at these two photos. Yushchenko believes he may have been poisoned.

Yikes. Poor guy.

It's time Ukraine moved forward and away from Russian influence. It has the natural resources and the people to become a European market powerhouse -- that is if democracy is restored and a healthy liberal economy ensues, otherwise it will remain in the dark ages of the Cold War under the power of the Russians. The Ukrainian language has been bastardized by Russian integration.

Wasn't that the point of Ukrainian independence in 1991? Freedom baby, yeah.

Alberta Votes

Here was my official prediction for the Alberta election yesterday:
PC: 68
Lib: 11
NDP: 3
Alliance: 1

Here's what happened:
PC: 61
Lib: 17
NDP: 4
Alliance: 1

Not too bad eh? I'm glad Albertans sent Ralph a message. I couldn't believe Mark Norris, a cabinet minister, lost. He was touted to run for the leadership. He beat Nancy Macbeth, Liberal leader in 2001. Ian McLelland lost, after being in government since 1993 with the Reform Party, then to the Alberta PCs in 2001.

I was glad to see the Alliance got a seat. If they get a new leader - a more charismatic one, they should be able to do much better in 2008. Now they should be in the TV debates as well. The NDP concentrated their vote to Edmonton and although they only got 90,000 votes, they won four seats - where in some elections they got 100,000 and no seats. They're smarter now.

Preston Manning, former Reform Party leader whose father was Premier of Alberta for 25 years, said that Albertans, as they've done three times in provincial history, may be ready for a complete party change in the next election. I would agree. The PCs are tired and out of concrete ideas. The Alliance put together a pallatable platform with actual specific ideas. I was reluctant at first, then switched in the last few days. They got 77,000 votes - not too far off the NDP. If they double that and concentrate on certain rural ridings, they could get a dozen seats in 2004.

I'm of the belief now that if Alberta doesn't reform the legislature and elections, then how can we propose parliamentary reform federally? If we had fixed election dates, free votes, and more opposition on committees right here in Alberta, then I think we'd have more clout federally. Don't you agree?

Ralph

Thankfully, I'm not in the riding where a good friend of mine is running for the PC Party of Alberta.

This will be the first provincial election where I will not vote for Ralph. What's ironic is I attended Ralph's campaign kick off rally and was cheering "Ralph, Ralph, Ralph". Then I saw no platform. They are coasting on being debt free. That's it. They talk about the future, but provide no vision, no substance, no nothing. To call this election "Kleinfeld", an election about nothing, is true as far as the Progressive Conservatives and Ralph Klein go.

Ralph is stale. He's arrogant - the same qualities Albertans complained about Chretien. His comments about AISH, his rude incident at the homeless shelter, gambling instead of attending the federal health accord, lack of debate in the Legistature, crappy auto-insurance reform, broken tax cut promise, ... I'm tired of it. Anyone could have paid off the debt with the oil revenues that have been coming in, so I don't think it was any miracle on Ralph's part.

So I'm voting Alberta Alliance. Why? Because ... 1) I never vote socialist (Liberal or NDP) and 2) the Alliance actually has a nice platform called "Contract with Alberta", that I can agree on.

Highlights:

- Free tuition for post-secondary students with a C average or better
- Eliminate health-care premiums
- Cut income taxes by 28% as promised by Ralph in 2001 but never done
- Fixed election dates
- Eliminate MLA pay raise

Here it is in detail: http://www.albertaalliance.com/contract.pdf

Although I'm not big on recall and referendums, this is what I was looking for. Who knows, maybe in 2008, I'll run for MLA!

Vote early, vote often. Just vote today.

Hey Carolyn! Who's the "idiot" now?

Carolyn Parrish, Liberal MP. You've heard her before. She's the outspoken, drivel minded MP from Ontario who called Americans "damn bastards, I hate them." She said that the countries fighting in the Iraq war were "the coalition of the idiots". And recently, she was seen on "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" stamping on the head of a George W. Bush doll handed to her by a show reporter. Does she think she has voodoo magic?

But did that get her thrown out of the Liberal caucus, as demanded by Opposition Leader, Stephen Harper, in Question Period? No.

What finally got her tossed out was her blatant negative remarks about her own party leader, former Liberal "saviour" our Prime Minister, the Right Honourable Paul Martin. So, hey Carolyn! Who's the idiot now?

Well, it actually may be Paul Martin. With the Liberals reduced to 134 seats, their minority is smaller, while their struggle to win votes on bills only gives more credence to the socialist NDP who have 19 seats. As I've said before, Paul Martin and Ralph Goodale both recently advocated tax cuts due to the $9 billion surplus. But both have just recanted, proving they want to pander to the socialist part of the House. However, with 308 seats in the House, 134 + 19 doth not provide a majority or a tie anymore.

The Bloc, Conservatives, and one conservative independent makes 54+99+1=155, which is enough to topple this government.

Another federal election next fall folks and no sooner. Time to toss the real idiots out once and for good.

Benevin Stanchiano

First person to post a comment here and tell me who Benevin Stanchiano is, I'll buy you a beer next time I see you.

The Real Nelly...

I am in love with this woman and her music...


"I am just a singer, simple and true. I like sharing with my fans. I like spreading positive energy. I am a humanist. I believe in the strength of human love and energy. We all have the capability to love and care. Through my shows, I like extending this "love of life". Thanks for coming into my musical world. Thankyou for leaving your armour at the door. Thankyou for having the courage to smile. Thankyou for joining in the tribal ritual of dance. Thanks for having the humility to just sit back and enjoy. Thankyou for "coming as you are". "

-Nelly Furtado
(www.nellyfurtado.com)

If you haven't bought her latest album, Folklore, you should. Every song is well written, produced, and recorded. This is a high energy album - you will feel better after listening to it. This is one of the best album's I've heard in a while - especially driving in the car down the highway. It's got everything you want. Here's the highlights:

"One Trick Pony" - A groovy intro tune. The banjo and tight bass drum drive the song foward. The harmony chorus fills your soul. Nelly's vocals are like another percussion instrument. She is the master of this and makes any rap or hip hop "artist" look like a bunch of chumps.

"Powerless (Say What You Want)" - This is one of the best monochord songs ever. She obviously doesn't believe in formula song structure which is so refreshing. The anthemic chorus is used in many dynamics. Again, the banjo is confidently plucked throughout giving the song a down-home feel. This is a wonderfully produced song that motivates and energizes you.

"Explode" - The minor suspended 7th chords provide a dark mystique tone to this song. In the video a little anime Nelly is running through the forest to the tribal beat and bongos of the song and she comes across monsters which she battles with her music. This is one of the best highway fast hilly driving songs and it's my favourite song on the album.

"Try" - This warm ballad is a delicate personal song that could apply to anyone. The soft keyboard laments a certain melancholy of past memories and "what ifs".

"Fresh Off The Boat" - The album re-energizes itself with this hip ditty. The confidence that Ms. Furtado espouses isn't cocky, it's damn sexy. The song obviously implies immigrants, but Nelly takes this into a positive light of hope and humility.

"Forca" - In Portugese, it basically means "Keep going," or "Kick ass". Another anthemic song which seems to rally a group of people to band together and accomplish something great. Again, as you can see, Nelly's music and words are encouraging, inspiring, and refreshing to hear instead of the negativity out there in a lot of drab music you hear today.

Snak gives Nelly Furtado's "Folklore" a definite 5 fists out of 5.

Book Review: "The Lost Treasure of the Knights Templar - Solving the Oak Island Mystery" by Steven Sora

This was the first book I read regarding the "Money Pit" in Oak Island, Nova Scotia (New Scotland), so I kind of knew what to expect with regards to the history of the Knights Templar, the Temple of Jerusalem, Rennes le Chateau in France, and of course Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland. What I wasn't expecting was the author's excellent analysis on language -- the similarities between the Micmac native tribe in Nova Scotia and many words in Celtic, old Irish and Scottish - and even shows how the Mac, and Mc prefix of surnames is derived from this tribe. This further proved that explorers from Scotland came to the New World well before Columbus, but still after the Norse (which have blood relations with many Scots).

The premise of the theory behind the book is that the bloodline of Jesus, the Holy Grail you could say, has been kept secret in either through hidden documents, verbally through descendants, or the actual chalice exists. This "treasure" was hidden underneath the Temple of Jerusalem just before the Jewish Revolt in ~70A.D. It is also claimed that a pregnant Mary Magdalene, Joseph of Arimethea, and a few other "Marys", fled to Southern France, where there exists many Chapels and icons dedicated to Mary, as being the wife of Jesus. The big theory is that this bloodline was mixed with the Merovingian line. The author's knowledge of these Frank families was extensive and interesting. The document of the bloodline (read: Holy Grail) and a treasure was hidden in Rennes le Chateau and discovered by a clergyman who became rich.

Then the Grail was passed on to be hidden under Rosslyn Chapel, along with the treasures, some Dead Sea Scrolls, and other documents that the Knights Templar grabbed from the under the Temple of Jerusalem during the Crusades. This is a prominent theme in Masonic ritual of the higher degrees.

Then these treasures were taken to Nova Scotia in the 15th century by William St. Clair of Rosslyn after he built his infamous Chapel, and buried there in what is known as the Money Pit. It's called the Money Pit because millions of dollars have been spent by various investor syndicates trying to excavate and discover what the treasure is down there (including a young Franklin Roosevelt), but no treasure has been found. It was discovered as a pit in the late 18th century by some boys playing in the area.

What I didn't like about the book was the author's lack of knowledge of Freemasonry - specifically the history and the ritual. He's obviously, and sadly, not a Freemason. He assumes without any credible reference or proof that Freemasonry was created out of the Knights Templar. While this is the most likely theory regarding the origin of speculative Freemasonry - and there is credible evidence out there (see Rosslyn Chapel built in the 15th century and the St. Clair family), he doesn't go into it at all - he says "it's obvious". He missed many opportunities to quote Masonic ritual in relation to his theory that Masonic authors have done many times. Luckily, I knew about these missed opportunities and applied it myself.

The sad thing about the dark ages, is that from the fall of the Roman Empire (ironically not long after Emperor Constantine forcibly implemented Christianity as the official religion of the Empire) and up to the Crusades, there isn't much recorded in history. All that sticks out is the Merovingian and Carolingian families of France and Germany who rule the monarchies. (I've even read mathematical theories that the dark ages actually didn't exist and that this is not 2004, but much earlier!).

He concludes that we may never know what's down the Money Pit, whether it's a decoy, or it's daVinci's or Sir Francis Drake's stuff. I've read theories that the Holy Grail is in Switzerland, a country founded by families of Knights Templar who fled France after their unjust persecution by King Philip in the 14th century. But who knows - that's what's fun about Grail hunting!

Snaky gives this book 4 fists out of 5. Although it wasn't a convincing book overall, there were aspects that filled in some gaps in my research of the Holy Grail that were satisfying. There's much more to the book than what I have here and fans of "The DaVinci Code" would really like this book.

Paul Martin Sucks

Why? Two reasons (for brevity):

1. He will not appoint Senators-In-Waiting from Alberta who will be elected from the upcoming provincial election. He doesn't believe in piece-meal Senate reform. This is obviously a stalling tactic and a TOTAL LACK OF LEADERSHIP. He's a flip flopper.

2. With the federal surplus announced at $8,900,000,000, Martin says no to tax cuts? Excuse me, Mr. Prime Minister (if that's your actual title), but some of that is MY MONEY YOU TOOK FROM ME. The gov't is taking in more money than it should. I want my money back so I can pay off my student loan. Middle class families are on the verge of slipping into poverty because they pay more in taxes than food, shelter, and clothing combined. What's even more ironic is that the Finance Minister, Mr. Ralph Goodale recently said only a couple weeks ago that he was going to look at implementing tax cuts. What the fuck happened?

Oh right, Ontarians elected the dirty lying bastards in again - although a minority, Paul Martin still runs the show.

DEMAND SENATE REFORM.

DEMAND YOUR MONEY BACK.

Rider Pride?

What the fuck happened to you nice folks from that nice rectangular province? A fan throwing shit and eggs at the kicker's house? You know what I say, if it don't have "Phi", "Delta", and "Theta" on it, don't bother throwing stuff at houses, and I know you guys don't have frats there, so what the hell?

You didn't see Sh'mo fans doing that to Coach Higgins after he made a bad call did you? DID YOU? (Well, he quit anyway, but that's besides the point). With your depleting population, rampant socialism, and boring drives, I guess there's not much else to cheer about - or have hope for, is there? But perhaps in this case, for the rest of the good people who still stick it out in Sask, perhaps, just pehaps, the favour should be returned, for that one angry shit house Rider nut - the shit SHOULD hit the fan.

What does that "S" on the team logo stand for anyway? Socialism? Oh ... right ... "shit".

Troy: The Movie

I finally watched "Troy" with Brad "Ass" Pitt. Because this story may or may not have actually occurred may have had an effect on the lack lusture acting. Okay, the acting wasn't that bad, but it could have been a bit better - a bit more believeable - more passion. It felt like everybody was going through the motions with no emotion. I just didn't believe the love at the beginning with Helena for it to cause a big war. As well, Achillies bond with his cousin wasn't too bad - but they could have told a story (or a flashback) how they became so close - or were we supposed to know that?) Whatever. That last analysis was for the chick flick shticks. So let's get to the nitty... the part of the movie that rocked ... the battle scenes!

The javelin throws, swords, clubs, etc. was believable and really well done. Camera work was awesome. One part of the battle that was a bit odd was when 100,000 men just all of a sudden "stopped fighting for today". But that's where the movie doesn't shine as much as it could. The Iliad (thanks Seymour!) talks about how the Gods are the ones controlling the battle and the story like a chess game, but the movie doesn't really go there. Sure, they talk about birds being signs from Apollo etc., but they don't create enough of a mystique around the whole God worship.

I would guess that a lot of women went and saw it for two reasons: Brad's two ass cheeks. Me, I watched it 'cause I had nothing else to do.

Snaky gives it a reluctant 3.75 fists (out of five)!

Comparitively, Gladiator was a close FIVE (Joaquin Phoenix's acting made the movie), and Braveheart was a definite FIVE (well, except they didn't talk about the Templars at all!)

I wonder how "Alexander" will do? Colin Ferrell is a more believable actor than Brad Pitt, so it looks hopeful.

Boobie, what's your take?

The Olsen Twins

I was shopping for my niece. She likes Barbie, so I went to that aisle and saw something that made me look twice. I saw Olsen Twin dolls. No, they weren't made from toothpicks or had white powder all over them. Anyone who buys these dolls for their kids should take parental councilling. Does anyone know that these anorexic, no talent, coke snorting, heroine addicted, rehab frequenters are being put on toy store shelves and glamorized? It's disgusting, immoral, and frankly, it made me want to puke.

Mind you, I saw some Metallica "action" figures too. From the above paragraph, just take "no talent" though.

Revenge of the Sith

The new Star Wars Episode III trailer is out: www.starwars.com

As is obvious, this is the movie that brings the entire Star Wars series together. Back in 1999, I predicted that Episode III will be the biggest selling movie of all time. While I and II didn't do as well, this one will bring out the old Star Wars fans in droves, multiple times. (Star Wars - A New Hope was the very first movie I ever saw.)

I recently just explained to my 7 year old nephew about the differences between the dark and good side of the Force and which characters were on each side, who their apprentices/padawans were, etc. While the plot line in Ep. I was quite simple, Ep. II was a very complex story line, difficult for even me to explain to people, which is likely why a lot of people didn't get it or enjoy it as much. It is a political movie, showing how the powerful can play both sides without anyone knowing (even those watching it happen right in front of them).

I had to explain to my nephew that Palpatine and Darth Sidious are the same person. My nephew then asked me which side the clones were on. I said, "That's a very good question and difficult to answer." So here it goes... In Ep. II we see Yoda telling these cloned stormtrooper-like soldiers what to do, yet two movies later, they are dictated by Darth Vader. We must remember that the clones (stormtroopers) were created as clones of Boba Fett, as hired by the Republic, with Chancellor Palpatine at the head of the Senate (he was elected in Ep. I) to defend itself against the separatists, secretly led by, Count Dooku (aka Darth Tyranus), the new apprentice of Darth Sidious (after Darth Maul was killed).

In Ep. III, I predict we will see the clones obviously winning the war -- strengthening Chancellor Palpatine's power. Anakin and Queen Amidala, who were secretly married, will have a couple of children (who become Luke and Leia). But the Jedi find out (Obi Wan) and shame Anakin for his marriage. Amidala is then killed by Darth Tyranus and this fuels Anakin's rage and conversion to the dark side when he kills Darth Tyranus in revenge and because the Jedi basically disown Anakin. The Jedi then secretly take Leia to Bail Organa - Viceroy and First Chairman of Alderaan and Luke will head off to Tatooine to his uncle Owen by Obi Wan. Darth Sidious then takes on an angry Anakin as his new apprentice and Anakin becomes Darth Vader, who kills many Jedi. Yoda obviously flees to his swampy planet, while Obi Wan becomes a hermit on Tatooine.

This may not be entirely accurate, but it does link it all together. As I said, Revenge of the Sith will be a huge success. The plot will be easier to understand (as I have shown above), but the real attraction will be witnessing Anakin's rage and conversion to the dark side, as well as how Palpatine reveals himself as the Emperor. These are the "dark times" when the empire takes over, as revealed to Luke by an old Obi Wan in Episode IV.

Dark times, yes, but there's always a new hope. That and my old roommate will likely get excited again as he continues to increase the size of his Star Wars Lego collection, knowing that it will also come to and end.

May the Force (read: God) be with you. We will discuss the similarities of the Star Wars series with religion at another time.

Tiny Muppet Bubbles...

Leader of the Opposition, the Honourable Bubbles

Wait for it...

The Deadliest Rock Band Ever...

Ah yes!

Me like hockey!

So that time is here. That time when I expect to see some Oilers on the ice and on the TV. That time when I know there's something that Canadians can do better than anyone else. That time when I can go watch a game with a big group or a few buddies and enjoy my favourite sports team with a proud history. That time when I can cheer and feel proud of my city, my home. That time when I can sit with a stranger in a bar and talk about something in common - we both think Brewer can't pass the puck to save his life, let alone our own.

Fucking unions.

Jean Charest

Quebec Premier, Jean Charest, reminds me of Fred Flinstone's uncle Giggles or Ronald McDonald, I can't decide which - perhaps both. Regardless, I think Jean is starting to laugh again... if you love Canada, read this article:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20041109.wcharest1109/BNStory/Front/?pageRequested=4

Either he's pandering to quasi-separatists or he's lining himself up for another run at 24 Sussex against either Paul Martin for the Lib leadership, or more likely - eventually replace Stephen Harper as Conservative leader. I'll give it 5-6 years from now if Harper doesn't win the next election.

You heard it here first folks!

Ukrainians

I learned last night that people with Ukrainian accents are easier to understand after they've had a few beers. I stood and listened with ease as my Western Ukrainian friend spoke more eloquently and succinctly than ever before. I thought I had better take advantage of this moment before he begins to sober up and go back into his usual garble. I guess it's the same idea as those with British or Australian accents sound like North American accents when they sing.

So on November 19th, don't be a left-wing pinko commie, vote Yushchenko for President of Ukraine!

Kevin Spacey

Where in the H-E-(double hockey stick) is Kevin Spacey. As many of you know, he's my favourite actor, but the last movie I saw him in was "The Life of David Gale". While he did an excellent job once again, that movie was too predictable for me.

Here's all I got from IMDB.com about his upcoming movie, "Edison": http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0389957/

Oooh! Morgan Freeman is in it. But who's type casting here? Justin Timberlake and that pansie Dylan McDermott, come on! LL Cool J is good. Hopefully this movie will make me wanna play "Mamma said knock you out!"

Astronaut

Republished from an email by the Shlebbmeisteramadingdong - likely the best critique of an album since Soojie Santarina's take on John Oates.

Okay,

Duran Duran - "Astronaut" track by track:

Reach up for the sunshine: First single that I did not like when it came out, but now has grown on me,

Want you more: A sugary dance song that reminds me a little of "girls on film", I found it catch and cool.

What happens tomorrow: A junky overproduced track that sounds like it may be the theme song for a movie, albeit a Disney one.

Astronaut: possibly the worst song they have ever written. Yes even worse than those other songs Ruben.

Bedroom Toys: funky, "Notorious-like" track that shows promise but it has the worst lyrics and vocals I have heard in a long time.

Nice: Awesome track, sounds like a B-side from the Rio sessions. Think "Hold Back the Rain".

Taste the Summer: With it's "Doo-doo doo do do do" refrain and the lyrics "Can you taste the summer" it sounds like it was written for a Pepsi commercial but didn't make the cut so now it will be used for Diet Fresca.

Finest Hour: Boring ballad wannabee.

Chains: I got duped by the verses thinking this song was going to be good, then when the chorus hit I hid my head in shame and guilt.

One of those days: This track isn't bad actually on first listen.

Point of no return: Cool drum beat, but why do they need the 10 vocal harmonizing of Simon's voice on every track, this being the worst.

Still breathing: Ah, the last track, like a cool glass of water after a lunch of Jagermeister and Spam sandwiches. Well it is no Chauffeur, no Seventh Stranger that is for sure. Boooooorrrrrrrrriiiiiiinnnnnnggggg!

So with the exception of 2 or 3 tracks, this album is really bad. Don't think this is the end of them- their concerts are selling pretty well, and the record deal they signed is for 3 more albums. Yes 3 more.

Where oh where is John Taylor's bass lines??? They were like the coolest thing in Duran Duran. Honestly you listen back to the three albums they did as a 5 piece, (Duran Duran, Rio, and Seven and the Ragged Tiger) and JT's bass playing was soo awesome. Why is it so underused now?? This album is like a Nick Rhodes solo album where he used a digitally altered recording of Simon Lebon's voice from the pre-Live Aid days. So disappointing.

New Duran Duran album

Listening to the new Duran Duran album titled "Astronaut" on Windows Media ....

Snak gives it....One and a half fists out of five.

Blah. It's so behind the times. Simon's voice is too processed. No edge. Sloppy. Where's John Taylor's killer bass playing? I've written better shit on my synth. In fact, it sounds a lot like Justin Timberlake .... only WORSE. Sad to say it, but Duran Duran is now a spent force - offering nothing other than good old memories from songs that were far better than anything they can conjure up today.

My review of William Shatner's "Has Been" stands.... Five fists out of five thanks to Ben Folds Five! Beem me up!

Mainstream Media

Being a news junkie, I try to get my news from various sources - the TV, the newspapers, radio, and the web. What I find amazing is with all the news and commentary we get bombarded with regarding partisan issues, TV is blatantly biased. I currently do not have a TV, but whenever I do watch programs on the CBC, CNN, or CBS, I can't help but get a bit frustrated when partisan biasness is obvious.

Take Global News. They will not let Alberta Alliance Leader Randy Thorstensteinsonsonestien (let's call him Randy for fun - looks like him too) to participate in the provincial part leader TV debate tonight because the Alberta Alliance did not elect anyone from the last election, although Gary Masyk crossed the floor to sit as the only MLA from the new party.

Hypocrites! It was only a couple elections ago, I believe in 1997 when Randy, who was then leader of the Social Credit Party was allowed to particpate, and he did a great job at debating, even though the Socreds haven't elected anyone since way way back.

Ralph is likely using some tactic via his new communications degree to stave off the wave from the right. If the AA (read Alberta Alliance) can use this for a sympathy vote in grassroots Alberta, Ralph's supposed tactic may bite him with vote splitting.

In the U.S., watching CNN made me puke. The exit polls used to declare winners were useless, inaccurate, and really undemocractic. These fabricated push polls are used to sway the voter at the last minute. Polls schmolls. The only poll that matters is the one that actually makes a difference.

Don't believe the hypocrites, and don't believe the polls. Nevermind the U2 Zooropa Tour, don't believe your TV. Believe in what you believe in, not what the media wants you to believe.

"Get up, stand up. Stand up for your right."

Bubbles

It was perfect. One minute, I'm drinking a sambucca, next, I turn around and see Bubbles, or someone dressed up like him. I laughed so hard I fell to the ground. He did the whole kit and kabootle - the glasses, the hair, the shirt, the fist in the air, the talk. "Holy fuck!" Where were we anyway? Pics to come.