Snak's Intermittent Movie Review - "Sideways"

"I'm not drinking Merlot!"

This movie isn't for the boys who read Maxim, Stuff, or skateboard magazines.
This movie is for the men who read GQ, Esquire, "Barely Legal", and Wine Makers' Weekly.
This movie isn't for dads. It's for the men a year or so before they becomes dads.
So it's not a family movie.

And it isn't for women either. It's not for women because women won't ever admit that they don't understand men. Men fully submit to the fact that trying to understand a woman is the greatest mystery.

It's a real guy movie. And I emphasize "real". It's sophisticated and deep. Any man who doesn't understand the movie, is simply not a man, and should go back to the superficial and easy dumb guy movies like American Pie, Road Trip, and Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.

I really can't think of another movie like Sideways, except for Swingers. Sideways is the sequel. For those who don't understand it, will find it slow, but those who do, will soak up every ounce of it and appreciate the finer qualities.

Ah yes. It's very smooth. The obvious metaphor between the delicacy and preference of a Pinot Noir grape and Miles' middle aged crisis is simple yet brilliant. His description of the grape to Mya on the porch is the crux of that metaphor and part of the script that put this movie at the top of the Oscars.

If you've had Pinot Noir wine, you'll know that it is a very fine rare wine. It's taste is mild and relaxing. If you've had Merlot, you'll know that it is a bolder wine and readily available.

The juxtaposition of the two characters, Jack and Miles, emphasizes their personality differences on the extremities of typical lonely middle aged men. On one hand you have Jack, the extroverted, sexually active, well dressed, party guy with everything going for him including his upcoming wedding, contrasted with Miles, the introverted, shy, bald, fat, drunk, poorly dressed, divorcee and failed writer. Despite these polarized traits, both men have a breakdown. Jack's admission about his true feelings of his fiancee show he too, like all men, have fragile egos. For the man with everything and the man with nothing, the spirit can be shattered by a woman in an instant.

Despite his cheating, Jack does marry and Miles does finally get the courage to hook up with Mya. And notice the similarity in the names? Miles and Mya - both divorcees looking to settle down again, without the pressure.

All men can go sideways from time to time. While they think some happiness lay on a detoured path that satisfies their desires and rubs their ego, they realize at some point of epiphony that this is temporary and should probably get back on the long responsible road of virtue. However, those who never taste the Merlot, and don't explore bold new things, lose a passion for life, and the long road ahead never seems to end.

This is the essence of men and we freely admit it. Women don't. There's no wine to compare them to. Okay, maybe a blush, but there's no small firey red grape that can represent a woman's ego. For that, you'd probably need an orchard the size of California.

The only drawback to the movie is that it could have been funnier. It does have its moments, but I was hoping for a few more chuckles.

But I digress. This movie is great because it makes a man stop and really think. I mean, look at how much I've talked about it already. And I could go on and on about it, but I won't. For now, I think I'll go have a glass of Shiraz. I'm not drinking Merlot.

Snaky gives "Sideways" 4.69 fists out of 5.